Thursday, June 16, 2011



When I was in the seventh grade, I watched one of my best friends starve herself. I was 12 years old. And I had no idea what to do about a friend whose ribcage was becoming increasingly more prominent when changing for gym every day. I didn't know how to respond to a friend who insisted that her leggings were supposed to be baggy. I wasn't sure how to handle a friend who gave away over half her lunch everyday and complained about how fat she was. And I wasn't the only one. Our other friends were just as lost, concerned, and frightened as I was. Thankfully, her parents were paying attention and took her to a nutritionist before it got entirely out of hand. I remember how relieved I was when that happened. And I remember how ticked off she was. She was angry that she had to eat and record everything that she ate everyday. She was even more angry that we made her stick to it. Eventually though, she became comfortable with food again and with her body and by high school was one of the most healthy and fit girls to grace the halls. I'm scared to think of what might have happened if her parents hadn't noticed; hadn't intervened.

I'm thinking about all of this because last night I stumbled across the blog of a young girl who describes herself as walking the line between dieting and anorexia. After scrolling through a few pages of her blog, my heart hurt so bad. It upsets me to no end the way that girls are primed to hate their bodies with such ferocity to quite literally launch an attack on themselves. And it makes me even more angry to know that I, also, have fallen prey to that special department of self loathing (among others). I am grateful, and lucky, to have been blissfully unaware of my weight for the vast majority of my life - and once I discovered that weight was something to be concerned about, to be perfectly satisfied with my own.



In the more recent past, I've struggled with the weight gain that followed a fast (done for religious reasons). I should have realized, but didn't, that the fast would totally destroy my metabolism. And I should have been prepared for the weight gain. But wasn't. And I freaked out. None of my clothes fit anymore. I felt awful all the time. I hated looking at myself. I experienced a level of self consciousness I hadn't felt in a long time, if ever. I initiated a full on assault on my body, trying to whip it back into shape, not thinking that what I needed was to give it time to regulate itself back out again. After a year of struggling, I finally figured it out. This year for Lent, I gave up two things: 1) eating anything that wasn't a healthy meal, prepared with my own hands and 2) the scale. I had never owned a scale in my life before. But somehow in the past year, I convinced myself that I needed one, and dutifully weighed myself daily in the way that only the obsessive do.

I am proud to say that though I did go back to indulging in junk food when the opportunity arose after Lent was over, I have not stepped on a scale since. Over the course of that 40 days I found peace with myself and my body again. I remembered that I didn't need the scale to dictate my worth to me. And I hope hope hope that the other girls and boys out there who struggle with this are able to find the same soon enough to enjoy the rest of their lives.



In other news, I still wear clothes. And sometimes even manage to capture some photographic evidence of that fact.



Dress: Converse One Star x Target
Cardigan: Hand-me-down from Mom
Hat: Mossimo x Target
Shoes: Kate Spade
Bag: Betsey Johnson
Bracelets: Gift from Lebanon and Vintage
Earrings: Jess LC

Monday, May 23, 2011

Inspiration - Perspiration: Outfit Edition


For those of you who may be as of yet unaware of Cake Wrecks, the woman who writes it occasionally does an Inspiration vs. Perspiration post in which she shows the inspiration for a couple's wedding cake, and the cake that they end up getting from their "professional" baker. It is hilarious and sad all at once, and if you haven't checked out Cake Wrecks before, I can assure you that you will waste hours of your life giggling at that pictures and snark.



Feeling a bit lacking in the inspiration department lately, I took to the internets to find some. And find some I did. Not too long ago Steffy of Steffy's Pros and Cons wore this, and as I started to think about how I could translate it with my wardrobe, I was also reminded of this outfit from The Glamourai. So taking these two outfits with similar basic elements but the personal spin of each lady, I created my take on it and here I present to you my own version of Inspiration and Perspiration. Thankfully, I am not a professional, and nobody's wedding will be ruined if I flop miserably. What do you think? Did I do these two lovely ladies justice, or should I hide in shame?




Blouse: Vintage
Skirt: Vintage
Shoes: Aldo
Bag: Betsey Johnson (eBay)
Earrings: Kendra Scott (Gilt)

Friday, May 20, 2011



I have been a crazy person lately. I don't like to be a crazy person. It just happens sometimes. My latest bout of crazy has been induced by the impending end of my lease and subsequently the need to find a new place and move. I hate moving. And I hate apartment hunting even more. My roommate and I are going our separate ways (she will be graduating from her Masters program soon and could end up anywhere after that), so staying where I am now is not an option. My options were initially narrowed down to two categories. 1) Buckle down into adulthood and buy. 2) Continue renting. With the housing market what it is right now, buying is a very tempting option, and so I started looking. However, I quickly realized that I wasn't comfortable rushing into buying a place and I wasn't rolling in time. So I decided to rent for now while continuing to look for a place to buy. Decision one has been made, awesome. Now my options are further divided into two. 1) Rent a nicer place that has everything I want but is more expensive. 2) Rent a totally adequate place that doesn't quite have everything that I want, but is significantly cheaper. This is the decision that has just about killed me over the last two weeks. And you know what? That is absolutely INSANE. Look closely at those two options again my friends - I am choosing between great and totally decent. No matter what I decide to do, I will have a lovely roof over my head and a place to bathe. This is not life or death. So why so whacked out about it? I have no idea. All I know is that thankfully I got a grip on myself, gave myself a good hard shake and stern talking to, and made the decision to stop being crazy and be thankful that my "hard decisions" are between good and better. I am blessed to have all that I have and I need to start acting like it. Oh, and in case you're wondering, I also decided to go with the less expensive place. It won't have a washer and dryer in the unit and it won't be in the most ideal location for my commute to work, but it will totally suffice while I continue to look for a place to buy and it will allow me to save my money more quickly for a larger down payment.




My friend often insists on taking pictures of my derrière, with or without my knowledge. Obviously, I'm not running to post these pictures online, but I thought I'd give him the satisfaction of having gotten at least one posted. Satisfied?

Jacket: Mike & Chris (Revolve)
Polo: Isaac Mizrahi x Target
Jeans: BDG (Urban Outfitters)
Shoes: Jessica Simpson (TJ Maxx)
Bag: Betsey Johnson (eBay)

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Shoes, Toilet Paper, and the Occasional Disappointment


I tend to be a fairly thrifty person. I grew up in a household where extra was extra and not in the budget. As a result I have no problems with purchasing off brand, no name, super on clearance items. In fact, that's how I shop for the most part. However, there are two items on which I will always be willing to pay more for the good stuff - toilet paper and shoes.

I tend to have sweaty, smelly feet so swathing them in plastic or man made materials only exacerbates the problem. Not to mention, my feet are my foundation. I am on them all day. They carry me to and through everything I have to do and they deserve a little extra attention. So natural materials, whether they be canvas, leather, or satin, etc. are where it's at for me.

The same goes for my bum. It's important to me. I'm willing to pay a little extra to take care of it.




So, you can imagine my disappointment when these shoes fell apart on me. I did get them on sale at TJ Maxx, but at the time that I bought them, what I paid was A LOT of money for me. But they seemed to be of good quality and craftsmanship and I figured they would last me a good long time. Michael Kors, you really let me down on this one.

Shortly after these pictures were taken, I went grocery shopping. While I was loading my groceries into my car, I had the sensation of my foot sinking into the ground. I figured that I'd stepped into some soft tar that's often used to fill cracks in parking lots, but when I looked down, I was on solid ground. After more careful inspection, I realized that it was my heel coming loose from the shoe! I'd only worn these babies out a handful of times. How could they be falling apart?! Getting my groceries home and up into my apartment was interesting and now these shoes are waiting to go to the cobbler. I'm expecting/hoping, that it will only take a bit of shoe gluing to fix them, but I have say that I feel a bit betrayed. I have Target shoes that have suffered more abuse and held up better than these!

I'll just have to be more careful next time I go shoe shopping. You certainly can't trust that a design name/house is always going to put out a quality product. Lesson learned.





Jacket: New York & Co.
T-shirt: H&M
Skirt: Vintage
Shoes: Michael Kors (TJ Maxx)
Ring: LowLuv x Erin Wasson (Forward)
Belt, Necklace, Bangles, Sunnies, Clutch: Vintage

Saturday, April 30, 2011

May Flowers


With the amount of April showers we've been having this month, I am expecting some Botanical Gardens in May. For serious. This week especially had been non. stop. rain. So when the Sun finally peeks his head out from behind the cloud cover, I take full advantage and run outside to expose my skin and sear the eyeballs of anyone unfortunate enough to cross the path of my phosphorescent legs.


It was crazy windy when we took these pictures, and I spent a good amount of time trying to keep my hair under control. This was dumb. 1) Because it was futile and 2) Because it caused me to make faces like the one above. Eventually I let go and let the Wind have it's way with me. This was definitely for the best.


See what I mean? Now, if I could only get my hair to do that all the time..

Blouse: Liberty of London x Target
Shorts: Forever 21
Shoes: Isaac Mizrahi x Target
Purse: Vintage

Saturday, April 23, 2011


Last weekend I spent a good chunk of time pulling out my Spring clothes and hastily shoving my winter clothes into a dark corner, hopefully not to be seen again for a long, long time. Of course this means that this entire week has been cold and rainy. I have awesome timing. Also, Life likes to play games with my head.


I love love this sweater. It's so soft and drapey. But after wearing it only a couple of times last year it developed a hole right in the chest area. I tried to wear it a couple times with something underneath, but I didn't really enjoy wearing a holey sweater. At least I didn't want that sweater to be holey. So last weekend, I also watched a few tutorials on youtube about darning, and sealed up that hole with needle and thread. It didn't turn out quite as well as I would have liked. The repair is noticeable (although not in these pictures), but it looks kind of a like a little logo patch if you aren't really paying attention. Since the vast majority of people aren't really paying too much attention to my clothes, I decided that was good enough.


Sweater: H&M
Skirt: ?, Clothing Exchange
Shoes: Mossimo (Target)

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The Grass is Green on My Side


There are very few signs of Spring still in Michigan, but one that I did notice earlier this week is that the grass is turning from that stale, dried out yellow, to a fresh, lush green. Even little changes like this excite my little heart. I know I've gone on and on about it before, but it was a long, cold, hard winter for me this year, and I am Beyond ready for a change.

In other news, today is Record Store Day, so I need to clean myself up and head out to see what I can find! Also, I am in desperate need of a haircut. Maybe I can get Josh to squeeze me in today and work is Magic.

I hope you all are enjoying your Saturday!


Dress: burlapp (ideeli)
Cardigan: Forever 21
Shoes: White Mt. (TJ Maxx)